i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
