I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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