Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
