is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
