It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
