just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
