I want to make a zoo with you.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
