help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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