She went from zero to smokin in five shots
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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