So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
