Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Houston, we have a blender
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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