Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize