He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize