ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
