She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
