Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
