I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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