Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
