i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Randomize
