dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize