Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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