the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
