Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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