i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
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Do I have a choice?
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Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
