Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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