Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Randomize
