By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize