problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
