He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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