Pants 0. Shit 1.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
