ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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