i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
