ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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