It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
