There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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