Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize