I want to stick my p in your. b.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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