Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
