im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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