So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
