just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
