The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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