If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
