why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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