saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
