420 ftw
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
