haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
