we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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