Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
