so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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