you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
