Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
