remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize