soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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