I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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