Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
