just come out here and I will go home with you...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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