I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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