hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
